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It was 9:19 p.m. when security personnel came by to tell us book signing was ending at 9:30. At roughly 150th place in line, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. Everyone around me knew the same. Yet, we stayed for another 11 minutes. We stood there until that door closed and the last lucky folks got their books signed. It was a disappointing ending to a good evening.
We all stood there for several minutes as if somehow we’d be let in. Slowly we made our way outside. One young college student behind me exclaimed, “I’m an English major. I’m never going to have a good job. This is all I have.” There were several low shouts and cheers, a few tears. I smiled because in the grand scheme this wasn’t a big deal. I knew. She knew. We all knew. We dispersed and I headed home to let my dog out and go to bed.
But let me rewind. Thank you, John Green, for spending a little time in Lawrence. We love the thinkers, the feelers, and we especially love those willing to lay it all out there — in a book, on a stage in front of a couple thousand of us on a Tuesday night in September. At a time when the university is taking punches, your willingness to address depression and fear in such a personal way was welcome. Your desire that we find hope, necessary.
I read Looking for Alaska 20 years ago at a time when I’m sure most in the audience weren’t born. And yet, so many held copies of your books during your talk, hoping to get them signed afterward. So many clearly felt connected to your work and were just as excited as I was to have scored tickets. Though I can’t help but wonder if a few thought they were coming to see Hank.
I’m responsible for the question posed to you asking how many stars you’d give AI as a writing support. You said you needed more context and there was more context in the original question, cut short for time. No worries — the mixed bag answer having something to do with blue whales and humans and technology, never clearly stating a number of stars, was exactly the kind of answer I hoped for and made me smile. As a university employee who is often asked my AI opinion regarding writing, my best answers are elaborate ramblings with no end. I firmly believe that topic is years from an answer, so blue whales it is!
The energy emanating from the row of college folks behind me before the event, chattering away about their day while simultaneously reviewing chapters of The Anthropocene Reviewed and video games (maybe? I too am newly 48 years old and the things these youngsters are talking about elude me) kicked off the event with a hope that gained momentum once you were on stage, humor strong throughout, even while confronting your own struggles, and remained as I stood in line for an hour later in the evening waiting to get my copy of your book signed.
I had the door quite literally shut on me this time, but the human capacity for hope is a beautiful thing. And so, with hope I write this, and with hope I await your next book.
I give An Evening with John Green five stars.
— Erika Gray (she/her), Lawrence
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