‘He did not just fall and die’: Lawrence mother pleads for answers about the death of her 3-year-old

Watching police swarm Lawrence Memorial Hospital as she braced herself to see her unconscious 3-year-old felt like driving into a black hole, Ilene Tolbert recalls.

Ilene, now 27, was at work on Nov. 17, 2020 when she received a call from the Lawrence Police Department. Her toddler, Carter Louis Tolbert, had an apparent accident and was not responsive.

“‘What do you mean? Like I just tucked him into bed. I just left and kissed him goodbye this morning. I just actually talked to him on video chat,’” she said she thought to herself during the call. “I just remember I was screaming.”

Crying out to God, she said, she traveled right away from her workplace in Eudora to the LMH emergency department. She could feel herself nearly fainting, almost wrecking as she pulled into the parking lot.

After a few hours in the emergency room, Carter was transferred to Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, where he received care for five agonizing days. Ilene was right there.

At 8:57 p.m. on Nov. 22, 2020, Carter was pronounced dead at the hospital.

According to his autopsy, his cause of death was a liver hemorrhage with a laceration on the inferior surface, which caused him to bleed out. As oxygen stopped flowing to his brain, he experienced an anoxic brain injury.

But his manner of death was ruled as undetermined, according to the autopsy — a mystery that remains just as implausible to Ilene now as it was almost four years ago.

‘I do think something happened’

At 3, Carter was active and had a bubbly personality, Ilene said, her face brightening. 

He was excited about being a big brother. And shooting imaginary spider webs from his fingers was a norm for a kid who loved everything about Spiderman.

The events that led to Carter’s death have relied almost solely on one person’s account — that of Cody Casperson Sr., Ilene’s fiance at the time.

Although Casperson is not Carter’s biological father, he was a father figure. And he and Ilene share another son, Cody Jr., then an infant. 

On Nov. 17, 2020, Casperson was watching over Carter and Cody Jr. at the Lawrence mobile home where he and Ilene lived at the time. Ilene was away at work.

At home that morning, Casperson lay Cody Jr. down for a nap and then went to the restroom when he heard a thud in the hallway, he said, according to Carter’s autopsy report. There he found Carter on the floor, face down and unresponsive.

Neighbors attempted to give chest compressions. Lawrence Police Department detectives later returned to interview two people who witnessed Casperson that morning frantically yelling for help in front of the trailer. One witness reportedly told police that Casperson had said Carter was “running into a wall, falling and hitting his head.”

Several attempts to reach Casperson for comment for this article via a phone number, email address and social media account for him were unsuccessful.

Casperson called 911 at 11:50 a.m., and Ilene recalls having missed calls from him at 11:55 and 11:57 a.m. Later while waiting at LMH for Ilene to arrive, he recounted what happened to an investigator who was assigned because he specializes in crimes against children. 

Casperson said Carter was running through the hallway, and he believes he may have fallen onto a plastic booster seat that can be strapped onto a dining chair. The space was cluttered, he told law enforcement.

Carter had no significant existing medical history — nothing that could have contributed to his death, according to the autopsy report and Ilene. 

“The spontaneous rupture is very rare, especially in pediatric cases,” according to the autopsy report. “The decedent’s possible accidental fall cannot be confirmed as it is not witnessed, and inflicted trauma causing a rupture cannot be ruled out. For this reason, the manner of death is best classified as undetermined.”

Also noted in the autopsy, Casperson told detectives that Carter had a habit of falling a lot. But Ilene said Carter didn’t have more falls than any toddler would normally have.

Ilene said while Carter was still receiving care at Children’s Mercy, Casperson texted her to apologize and tell her that he had recently relapsed. He had a history of using meth but was getting clean while the two were together, she said. The text led Ilene to consider maybe he was under the influence and responsible for accidentally hurting Carter that day. 

“Whatever happened I don’t think was intentional,” Ilene said. “I don’t think that he intentionally hurt Carter, but I do think something happened. 

“My son was not just running down the hall, and he did not just fall and die. That doesn’t happen.”

‘It took almost four years’

To Ilene, the investigation into Carter’s death felt open and shut. 

After Carter’s final autopsy report was completed in April 2021, lead investigator Detective Evan Curtis, of LPD, called Ilene into the police station to go over it with her. Ilene said she had followed up with Curtis but hadn’t been kept informed on the case’s progress.

During that meeting, Ilene said Curtis told her he was planning to ask Casperson to take a polygraph test. After tracking him down a few weeks later in Olathe, where he resides, he refused to participate. Detectives told Ilene they couldn’t force him to, she said. So they tried partnering with her to see if Casperson might reveal anything significant in their phone calls and text exchanges, using a recorded line. He denied any wrongdoing.

A few days later, in May 2021, Casperson informed LPD “through a third party” that he’d obtained a lawyer and would not be making additional comments, according to information provided to Ilene.

Over the past year, Ilene has again attempted to obtain records associated with Carter’s case — this time submitting formal requests through the Kansas Open Records Act. 

She sought 911 call recordings, photos or video footage from the scene, recordings or transcripts of interviews, and any other records related to LPD’s response to the emergency. Her request was denied under K.S.A. 45-221(a) (10), an exemption to the law that means criminal records can be sealed for 70 years. The Times made the same request, which was also denied under that statute.

Ilene made another request, citing her right as a living mother of a deceased person to view recordings from law enforcement, under K.S.A. 45-254(c). That request resulted in access to view videos of herself at Children’s Mercy and LMH, videos of Carter at LMH and Children’s Mercy, audio from her conversation with a police officer as she traveled from work to the hospital, a few seconds of video showing medics carrying Carter to the ambulance, and a separate interaction she had with officers. 

Ilene opted out of viewing any of those. She said she felt they wouldn’t be helpful in her pursuit of closure; rather, they’d be triggering.

Kansas law does not allow Ilene to view recordings of interviews with Casperson or anyone else, even though the interviews were regarding her son. 

Taking a step further, the Times submitted a formal letter to the Lawrence city attorney’s office on April 19, requesting that the city and its police department reconsider the decision not to disclose the records that could have potentially brought Ilene some closure. The letter cited a court case from Sedgwick County regarding police records in which a judge ruled in 2021 that “Whether the police department conducted itself appropriately in the investigation is a matter of public interest because the community at large has an expectation that criminal investigations will be performed properly, professionally, and without bias towards any group.”

Assistant City Attorney Laura Graham sent the Times a final response from the office on June 5, writing that “the City stands behind LPD’s previous denial” of the KORA request. She said the records are not in the public’s interest to disclose, citing case law from 2000 about an Overland Park woman’s death. 

“In fact, having reviewed the records, we believe they warrant protection” under numerous other record exemptions, Graham wrote, citing specifically “Information that would reveal the identity of any undercover agent or any informant reporting a specific violation of law” and “Medical, psychiatric, psychological or alcoholism or drug dependency treatment records that pertain to identifiable patients.” 

Lawrence police Lt. Amy Rhoads called Ilene the morning Graham sent the city’s response and set up a meeting for the following Monday.

“It took almost four years and literally the only reason that happened is because you guys reached out to the city,” Ilene said.

‘Insufficient probable cause’

Curtis, Rhoads and Detective Meghan Bardwell were among LPD staff who met with Ilene at the station on June 10. 

They played Casperson’s 911 call, and Ilene said she believed he “sounded fake,” but she understands police can’t charge someone based on feelings. She was also able to see some photos of her mobile home from when police processed the scene that afternoon.

Rhoads, who Ilene said was especially empathetic with her, took notes on Ilene’s concerns and presented her with a four-page summary of the investigation. 

The summary says after several unsuccessful attempts to speak with Casperson, his notice of obtaining legal counsel was the final pin for detectives.

“With no evidence supporting nor refuting Casperson’s account of the events, there is insufficient probable cause to charge anyone with crimes associated to the investigation at this time,” the case report summary says. “Cases will be recommended for inactivation, no charges pending.”

Ilene said officers were interested in searching her old phone — that she’d been using at the time Carter died but no longer uses as it’s broken — for new leads. They later followed up with her, and she plans on bringing the phone in soon.

“The case is inactive now but, as with any investigation, if new information comes to light our detectives will certainly investigate it thoroughly,” LPD spokesperson Laura McCabe said via email. “We did talk to mom, have been in contact with her since that meeting as well, and she has a direct line to the folks involved in the case. Our hearts go out to her for her tragic loss.”

An absence of lights and sirens

Ilene had also submitted another KORA request in January this year to Lawrence-Douglas County Fire Medical, and the agency granted her access to a patient care record. The record from the day Carter was injured notes Carter’s mental and physical states and medical care he received on-scene.

The report says Carter was transported to LMH in an ambulance without lights and sirens, which has compounded Ilene’s uneasiness. Dispatch notes indicate Carter could’ve been experiencing cardiac arrest. 

“I mean, that doesn’t make sense,” Ilene said.

LPD officers arrived at the scene at approximately 11:54 a.m. — four minutes after Casperson’s emergency call and just moments after LDCFM arrived at 11:53 a.m. Using Apple Maps, it would be about a 10-minute drive from the residence to the emergency room. The ambulance departed from the scene with Carter at 12:02 p.m., and they arrived at the LMH emergency room by 12:08.

Division Chief Kevin Joles of LDCFM said the department doesn’t use lights and sirens for every emergency transportation. Crews transporting the patient use their discretion, and based on policy, they weigh pros and cons. Main risks include safety of others on the road, stress on patients and resource allocation, Joles said.

“The loud sirens and flashing lights can be distressing for patients, particularly those already experiencing trauma or medical distress, potentially exacerbating their condition,” Joles said via email. 

Crews may choose to deploy lights and sirens, however, to give the emergency truck priority on the road, increase public awareness, reduce response time and potentially save lives.

“In critical medical situations, such as cardiac arrest or severe trauma, every second counts,” Joles said. “Prompt arrival facilitated by lights and sirens can lead to early intervention, potentially saving lives.”

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‘It’s trauma’

When the three-year anniversary of Carter’s death came and went in November, Ilene said she felt his spirit, as always. Grief is ongoing, she said.

“It’s taken a lot of therapy and relearning to calm my nervous system because it’s super heightened,” Ilene said. “Like, my fight or flight mode is instant. I mean, it’s trauma. My trust is super super thin.”

During LPD’s meeting with Ilene on June 10, Ilene said victim advocate Natassia Records offered individual therapy options for Cody Jr. as he gets older, or family therapy. Although appreciative, Ilene said that type of support was warranted sooner.

“At no point in time after Carter died did I ever get a call from someone from the City of Lawrence or the police department saying, ‘Hey, you know, your son died and there’s an investigation, is there anything we can give you or your son at this time?’ I could’ve used those resources,” Ilene said.

Symptomatic of post-traumatic stress disorder, dark imagery often afflicts Ilene, less now than a few years ago. But she can’t help but remain hypervigilant when she takes Cody Jr. to the park out of fear he could fall and get hurt, she said. 

Ilene was recently granted sole custody of Cody Jr. for unrelated reasons, which she said has moved her into an “odd space of peace.” They recently moved into a house with a fenced-in yard in Topeka. Cody Jr., now the age Carter was when he died, continues to grow without the chance to get to know his older brother. 

Ilene sees Carter in him, far beyond their mirrored love for Spiderman.

For this long, it’s been primarily Ilene advocating for answers, and navigating the system alone has been difficult. 

She said she hopes pushing Carter’s story into the light will garner community support as she urges the Lawrence Police Department to revisit the case with a fresh lens.

Find out what’s really going on in your town. Read The Lawrence Times.

Maya Hodison (she/her), equity reporter, can be reached at mhodison@lawrencekstimes.com. Read more of her work for the Times here. Check out her staff bio here.

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