9/7/1990 – 8/31/2023
Lawrence, Kansas
Joshua Alan Hale, 32, died unexpectedly at Lawrence Memorial Hospital in Lawrence, Kansas, on August 31, 2023, from severe health complications of chronic addiction. Over the past year, those who love him have struggled both to grasp this loss, and to find the words for capturing his light. Having now determined those goals impossible, this delayed and unconventional obituary will have to suffice. We remain devastated to lose the final hopes and future of this remarkably clever, funny, talented, and deeply loved boy and man.
Josh was born on September 7, 1990 in Sedalia, Missouri, to Shane A. Hale and Lisa R. (Poss) Hale. As a child he is remembered as enthusiastic, strong-willed, whip-smart, and supremely kind. He loved throwing himself into writing and creative school projects, learning to cook, board games and family reading nights, and countless hours of Legos and video games with his brother, Ryan. He played soccer and basketball, and had been passionate about the performing arts since the gift of a plastic recorder as a pre-schooler, later taking piano lessons and winning roles in school and community theater. His first guitar in eighth grade was a defining moment. He loved being with extended family and looked forward to holidays and visits. Some highlights were visiting parks and fishing, feeding ducks and grilling hamburgers with Grandma and Grandpa Poss, and summer road trips with Grandma Jacquie to visit their dad and see siblings Tristen and Madison. He and Ryan agreeably moved for their mother’s education to Chicagoland for grad school, West Virginia for residency, and an eventual position back near family in KC — holding her to the promise of a cat, Lyra, and puppy, Will, named from favorite books.
In adulthood Josh is remembered as a talented and passionate musician, appreciative of art and beauty across genre and form. As in childhood, he continued to be well-read, able to magnetically charm the people and animals he met, and always among the first to speak out in aid or support of those in need or marginalized. While still a teen he had become fascinated by rock legends of the past and a perceived creativity and freedom in their use of drugs and alcohol, a myth that remained a strong, persistent, and damaging illusion. Over his last decade he found a window of giddy success with an eerily spot-on portrayal of Jim Morrison in a tribute band, but struggled with perfectionism and promotion of his original work; he cut ties with family and friends, yet found the deepest love of his life (and at the end, his will and hope) in Krystyn Renfro-Hardy, who survives at their home with his cats (who probably still look for him). He will be forever missed by Krystyn, his parents Lisa (stepfather, Brandon Gilvin) and Shane (stepmother, Donna Hale), grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and the many friends he made over the seasons of his too-short life. He never met his sweet nephew, Theo, who is now almost five.
The brightness (and bigness) of Josh’s eyes, laughter, and heart are now trapped in time, and in the old family and performance photos and videos we are grateful to have. Addiction was never who Josh was, despite its cruel takeover of his life and tragic end. He had been regularly attending NA meetings for just over one year when he died, and had expressed to Krystyn new enthusiasm for the years ahead. The degree of shame, stigma, and judgment baked into public policy means that already fragile areas of our country’s social infrastructure — healthcare, housing, and food insecurity — end up a moving goalpost for those trying to get and stay well. This included our Josh. And so many others, across age and social strata. Our plea to those reading is to stay mindful that there are often limited individual choices or “bootstraps” left to pull up once someone is in the vicious cycle of addiction.
In Josh’s memory, and in the spirit of his advocate’s heart, we ask that you join us in working (AND VOTING) for greater humanity in community policies, and investments in advancing addictions research. May his memory be a blessing.
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