4/30/1964 – 3/13/2025
Lawrence
Tom was born in 1964 in Burlingame, California, and lived with his parents and siblings for as much as was possible. Tom was diagnosed as Autistic when he was a young child, though it was clear that he had a disability from birth. He never learned to speak but he was one of the first autistic children to learn to communicate with American Sign Language. Tom’s mother Helen was instrumental in educating Tom and she went on to become proficient in ASL. Tom’s father Clyde tried to bring Tom joy by taking him on rides on his bicycle around the neighborhood in Palo Alto and on picnics in the park where he could run.
Tom and his parents moved to Kansas in the 1990s to be near his sister Nancy and family. Tom lived in many different group homes and shared family homes but he thrived when he lived with Michelle Ray and family in Eudora. Aging with Autism is not easy but he was living a happy life until two years ago when his behaviors required more support than was available in a family home. He moved to Parsons State Hospital and Training Center in summer of 2023 and remained there until he passed away due to an accident on March 15, 2025.
Tom loved food, especially hamburgers and lasagna. For many years he came to Sunday dinner at Nancy’s home. His insistence on regular routines forged several traditions with Nancy’s family, including the Sunday family dinners, annual pumpkin cutting and Friday lunches out. His birthday always included shopping with his brothers Eric and Clyde for new shoes, even if he didn’t need them. Tom loved his roommates David and Mark who passed before him, and Michelle’s family who included him in many activities, including vacations to St. Louis and the Ozarks.
Tom had a very distinctive laugh that would emerge at times when no one thought he was listening or paying attention. He had a way of looking straight through you, like he could see your soul. He struggled to understand concepts like death and was very stressed about the possibility of dying. While we who loved Tom are very sad about his passing, we all hope he has found peace at last.
Tom is survived by his brothers, Clyde and Eric (and his wife, Gillian) as well as his sister, Nancy, and their families.
Memorial donations in honor of Tom, may be made to https://mygoodlife.org/donate/.
For donations through the mail, please send to GoodLife Innovations, P.O. Box 14395, Lenexa, KS 66285-4395
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